Raising Arrows

So I've been feeling guilty lately. I feel like I haven't been true to myself and to you kids. I feel like I've been too influenced by what others may think or do. And haven't taken the what matters most to heart. I searched high and low for how to raise my first baby the "right" way. And have been slowly coming to the realization that nothing beyond the cross and God's glory matters. As I'm realizing it thru my struggles, I'm not completely free of that "What will they think" attitude. But I've been reading an incredible book for mommas called "Desperate" by Sally Clarkson & Sarah Mae. I'm only 3 chapters in and it's hit me hard. I've had an unrealistic view of motherhood & frankly it's interfered with all of me. My spiritual life, family life, emotionally, physically, & how I view myself. In the chapter labeled "Formulas Don't Work", Sally says, "I believe that there...

I know I've been horrible at keeping things updated and posting ... time just slips away from me. We are settling into our "new" home nicely, adjusting to the south & getting into a new routine nicely. There's still good days and bad days for me, but you boys seem to be handling the move with ease. Seriously, as long as you have one another you're great! So to celebrate Mom's Day this weekend I thought I'd post pics of you boys ... the bestest job the Lord could ever blessed me with (also the most challenging at times) : Mom & Wife. :) So glad to hear your sweet little voice, Milo, when you call out to me ... "Momma!!!" & Theo, you light up the room with your smiles when you see me after naps or first thing in the morning. Melts my heart! Thank you for loving me ... even on my worst days. I Love you boys so much!!

We think of you each and every day that goes by, but today is extra special. Today would have been your FIRST birthday!!! Hard to believe how much time has past since you blessed our lives with your tiny self. I laid on the couch today while holding your little brother, thinking of just how much God used your little life to impact ours in such a HUGE way! We now have 2 sons, we lived in North Carolina, we are pursuing a life of ministry, and have even considered being missionaries to Germany!!! All of it is definitely a different life then what I had dreamed or planned - but guess what?!?! It's SO MUCH BETTER!!! And altho you are not here on earth with us (and I still ache to hold or rock your precious little self), I know you are in the best place there is & now have your Grand Nanny to keep you close and look after you. God used you Lil' One ... your life changed our way of thinking. It changed the way I approach every day. And it gave me a better sense as to what is...