{Lessons Learned in 2023}

In the last few months, Tim and I have had good conversations and time of reflection on the past 16 months, since moving off the estate. We like our new home and the natural woods that surround it, along with the nice walking paths that are all around our new village - seriously, we can get nearly anywhere on a footpath! But all the while, our family is still drawn to the city centre. We knew this move was not to be a long term move, but a strategic one. A chance  to heal some wounds and give refuge to our weary hearts. 

Now, a year and 4 months into life outside the estate, we are grateful to God for the insight and counsel He's given us. We wanted to share a bit of what we've learned and where He's leading. 

1. TEAM / COMMUNITY 
Simply put, we can't do this alone and weren't meant to be alone. Having folks who are with us and living in community with us is SO important. Weekly and monthly meals with other Christians living in city-centre Stockton is SO important. They have become like family and we've been able to build one another up. And when one of us is having a hard day or is sick, we have family to help care for us and our kids. God really showed us this through my (Dani's) accident back in June, when she was stuck by a needle while helping/feeding homeless folk in a local park. Because we were there in a group our kids were taken care of, we were immediately prayed over and with, and there were others who could help clean up and care for the other individual involved.

2. BOUNDARIES
This is just a silly one - or so I would and did say when we began this journey 3 years ago. But, oh, how I wish I could go back and tell myself to get serious about it. Boundaries are everything when you are working, and living in a community, and doing life with others as you go. We need boundaries. The ability to say "no, this is sabbath and this is our protected time as a family." Or "Ya know what, we don't have to answer this call right now because we are officially "off" of work tonight" and we need a space to rest and just be a married couple together. It also is what our kids need most! Boundaries to know that they have a safe space that is theirs, where the outside world isn't going to intrude. This may sound selfish, and I thought it was at first too, but really, it's not. Jesus retreated to be with His Father and I think there's something about letting your kids know: yes, we work, live and share with the community around us, but we have dedicated time to be us. To retreat. To be with one another, and our Heavenly Father. 

3. ABIDING 
You know when God keeps using a phrase or words over and over and you start to think, maybe He's trying to get my attention? Well, He was for us. Abide! He kept calling to us, but we kept on working for Him. And, oh, how long He waited for us to snap out of it and realize, we don't need to do more for Him - we needed to be WITH Him more. And what joy there was when we both found our place at His feet, when  our chains we put on ourselves were broken and our to-do lists erased. 
We still struggle with feeling like we need to do and we are constantly reminding ourselves  to do work with God we actually need to start WITH HIM. So we have been studying and working through spiritual formations for our family and personal lives. 

4. FOCUS 
Since moving off the estate, we both feel God has been so gracious about directing our hearts. He has granted us a clearer picture of what He is leading us into around the estate. Something we learned 2 years into living in Mill Lane, was there is always an emergency. There's always someone or something that needs attention or help. And we felt we had to put out every fire and help every person. It was exhausting! Alas, He was gracious and has now given our hearts a clearer vision to what our roles are and could be in the coming years. 

5. CONTEXTUALIZING
A good friend (who works in Italy) recently joked they could prepare the tastiest, healthiest meal in the world and if it wasn't pasta, their neighbors wouldn't be interested in eating it. It was intentional overstatement, but the point remains, the quality of the thing we are offering matters only as much as it connects to the local context in ministry. The tools and methods used in a context have to be adapted to that context, and in a place like Mill lane that means honoring local culture and texture. It means learning from a whole new set of people (both local and abroad) what it means to do ministry.

There are a few more lessons but these are the major highlights for us. God has really been working in our lives and hearts this past year and we are grateful for the space and time to process. And we are eager to continue to serve Him here in Stockton on Tees. 

As a family we want to move back to the estate, and we know that we will have to live differently--set better boundaries and stay closer than ever to our Heavenly Father--but until He opens those doors and provides the means to do so, we will embrace this season of learning and listening and commute over the Tees, enjoying the views as we go.