{Weak}

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

It's been a hard couple of weeks. Croup, an allergic reaction, a UTI, an urgent care visit for my hubby, cancelled or rescheduled fundraising appointments, on top of the normal, every day life of a homeschool family with 4 kids and a puppy. I've lost a few socks and a shoe to the dog and his obsessive chewing, I forgot to pack a very special friend for show & tell today - resulting in quit the tears at preschool (and for momma on the road with a sick sibling), soccer games & thunderstorms, keeping up on reading and math, and making sure our chickens have water each day (that doesn't seem like it should be a lot, but man, those birds drink A LOT!)
I finally lost it today. Between the lack of sleep and the mess of a schedule this week turned into, I lost it. Tears upon tears streamed. But it wasn't over frustration this time, not because I was angry with myself or fed up with life - which is why I usually fall apart in these times; no, this time it was because I saw the beauty in between the cracks. The moments of grace and mercy when I was so undeserving.
God whispered to me, in my mess today - You're weak, but I'm strong. These verses came to mind while I was driving home in complete silence. I cried a lot today. Emotions overtake me when I am at a loss for sleep, so after I dried my eyes yet again and prayed for another hour of strength to keep going, He comforted me and reminded me that He was at work.
 

I don't have it all together and I won't ever have it all together but God has it all together for me! I need trust God and let Him use me. Stretching me to my limits and taking these not so pretty days and weeks to shine through them, bearing the image of His strength and not my own.
Paul delighted in weakness and insult, hardships and persecution; and while I am far from delighted about how my week went and how many times I've seen our pediatrician in 14 days, I am praying for this same attitude. For the willingness to be used in my weakest, most vulnerable moments so Christ may be seen and heard and that delight will sprout up in my weary heart.
I know my week was far from horrific, there was some beautiful moments among the trying, tiring, overwhelming moments. Like bonding time for two grandpas to love and share time with their grandsons, a few extra hours of chat time with my adorable husband, sweet warm snuggles with our precious crew when a thunderstorm moved through at 4am. Moments where other people stepped in and helped to take care of us, before we asked or even knew we needed it. God moved through our weak week (ha!), and opened my eyes to His strength and provision. "For my power is made perfect in weakness" - I pray to see more of God's power, even if it means multiple more visits with our Peds office!